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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Will Ferrell; and Michael McDonald. PLUS:A Surprise Academy Award Recipient; Phone Call from Raul Castro; Gary Busey at the Academy Awards Pre-Show; The U.S. Spy Satellite; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; Small Town News; Alan Kalter’s Academy Awards Roundup; and Fun with Sound Effects.
“ . . . and now, tick-infested rodent . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Monologue joke: “A former stripper won an Academy Award. That was the first time that has happened since Katherine Hepburn in 1981.”
Paul then does a Katherine Hepburn impersonation, something he likely picked up hanging out with his Canadian pal, Martin Short. Paul says in a Katherine Hepburn voice, “I’m going to take my bra off now.”
During the pre-show Q&A, someone from the audience asked, ““What’s the deal with World Wide Pants?” Dave’s response: “I have no idea.”
Dave throws a pencil through the window and we hear a line or two of “The Crusher” by The Novas.
Did you watch the Academy Awards Sunday night? All the major acting awards went to foreigners. Dave has no problem with that, but was puzzled by this winner.
We see a clip of Osama bin Laden. He is holding the Oscar statuette and we hear his acceptance speech.
“I’m sorry I can’t be there to accept this award in person, but I’m on location in Kabul filming a romantic comedy with Muqtada al-Sadr and Debra Messing. Anyway, I’d like to thank three of my five wives, my friend and partner Ayman al-Zawahiri for always believing in me; my fabulous director Norman Jewison . . . . oh, crap, don’t play me off yet. Thanks to everyone at 3 Arts, my yak driver .. . And Hal Holbrook, you deserve this Award more than I do, Hal. God bless you all, and death to America.”
(the above my have been shortened just before the show)
You remember Osama bin Laden, don’t you? If it weren’t for the LATE SHOW, you would never hear his name.
And how odd will it be when Osama is still in power when George W. Bush has to step down?
Dave throws a pencil or blue card through the window and we hear more of “The Crusher.” But we weren’t supposed to hear “The Crusher.”
Phone call for Mr. Letterman . . . phone call for Mr. David Letterman. On the phone is Cuba’s new Head of State, Raul Castro. DAVE: “Hello, Raul, it’s David Letterman. Thanks for being on the show.” RAUL: “Hi, everybody, it’s me, Raul, your friendly neighbor to the south. Don’t miss Will Ferrell in ‘Semi-Pro’ --- it’s a comedy three-pointer.”
Dave tries to continue the conversation but Raul hangs up. He’s very busy these days with little time to chit-chat. A month ago he was available for the entire show.
Did you watch any of the pre-show to the Academy Awards? All Dave will say is “Gary Busey was there.”
We see Mr. Busey on the red carpet looking a bit disoriented and then kiss Jennifer Garner. The clip then cuts to:
“Hung over this morning? Excedrin can help.
Excedrin: What’s the alternative? Not drink?”
It wasn’t so surprising to find Gary Busey a bit inebriated on the red carpet . . . . what was so surprising was to see Gary Busey on the red carpet.
Dave throws the card through the window: “Moooooooooo”
The Pentagon is saying the missile fired at a dead United States spy satellite last week was a success. We have footage of the successful hit.
We see a guy walking down a city block. He hears an explosion in the sky and then is hit by satellite debris. The guy falls to the ground and screams out in pain. Of course, it wouldn’t be that funny except the debris hit the guy in the nuts! Getting hit in the nuts . . . . or, somebody else getting hit in the nuts is funny! We learned that from America’s Favorite Videos.
Before Dave throws the blue card through the window, he says he wants to hear “Ol’ Turkey Buzzard.” Dave allows a moment for the Control Room to prepare “Ol’ Turkey Buzzard” and then throws the blue card. We hear “Ol’ Turkey Buzzard” along with a visual of a turkey buzzard. Kudos to the Control Room.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
Bush: “Thanks for your remarks. Those were awesome. I guess that’s a Presidential word.”
ACT 2:
Back from commercial, Dave holds a fistful of pencils. He says he will be throwing pencil through the window all night long and “Gary better be ready.”
Sound effects heard:
- Glass break followed by an “ah-ooo-gah” horn
- Glass break followed by “oh, the humanity”
- Glass break followed by a lion roar
- Glass break followed by a twinkle
- Glass break followed by a psycho sting
- Glass break followed by sea gulls
- Sea gulls, followed by sea gulls. Hey, what happened to the glass break?
- Glass break followed by two more glass breaks, followed by the crack of a baseball bat hitting a baseball.
SMALL TOWN NEWS The Record (Bergen County, New Jersey): An ad for Paramus Chevrolet lists this employee: “Brent Cofrancesco – Queen of France.”
A coupon insert from Cash Wise Supermarket (Bismark, North Dakota): Underwater Adventures Aquarium offers “Free Child with the box office purchase of a full-priced adult admission.”
The Original Irregular (Kingfield, Maine): “What was the craziest adventure that you ever had on your sled?” Mike Horning: Up in Canada, we got some strippers to come out and do their thing on our sleds. Have pictures to prove it.”
The Original Irregular? Dave doubts that is the actual name of a newspaper. After some thought, he think the name may trace all the way back to the Civil War.
The Mason County Democrat (Havana, Illinois): An ad for ‘The Riverview Restaurant & Family Bowling Center’ – “We have an elevator!”
The Mt. Vernon News (Mt. Vernon, Ohio): “Wanted to buy/trade. Need an unused upper plate (false teeth). I lost mine.”
The Post-Crescent (Appleton, Wisconsin): “A television news truck broke through the ice on Big Muskego Lake. The driver of the WDJT-TV News truck was working on a segment about snowmobile safety on ice.”
The Pulaski County Journal (Winimac, Indiana): “Dilts Brothes Investment & Insurance Services.” There’s nothing funny about his ad; we just thought that Derrick Dilts looks like our writer Bob Borden. Dave calls for Bob to come out. Bob enters, takes off his glasses, and smiles widely like Derrick Dilts. They could be brothers, or the same guy.
The Williston Pioneer Sun News (Williston, Florida): “Just in time for Christmas, surprise your loved ones with tickets to an exciting event going on in Levy County on Saturday February 23rd.
The Amarillo Globe-News (Amarillo, Texas): A wedding announcement: “Moose-Greaser.”
The San Ramon Valley Times (Danville, California): “a rare western gray squirrel bolts from its cage, after which it immediately turned around and ate the state worker who released it.”
The Daily Banner (Cambridge, Maryland): “Suicide Bridge Restaurant is the place for parties of any occasion.”
The Flagpole (Athens, Georgia): “Boars Head Lounge. Free New Year’s Eve stuff and leftover Halloween crap and/or ‘djoy.’”
I took a closer look at the ad for Boars Head Lounge in Athens, Georgia. In small print: “Home of the $2 High Life.” Sounds like a place I could learn to like.
ACT 3:
“Where did the name ‘The Irregular’ come from? Back in 1968 or thereabouts, when the mountains were still tall but the paper small, The Irregular came out irregularly or when the publisher and editor collected enough ads (or meals in trade) to cover production costs. The paper finally became weekly year-round in 1986.”
TOP TEN: Things Overheard at the Academy Awards
8. “The Award for Sound Mixing . . . finally!”
4. “Eddie Brill says three were too many foreigners in the audience.”
2. “No, Ms. Fonda, it’s ‘No COUNTRY For Old Men.”
WILL FERRELL: From the new film, Semi-Pro. It opens on Friday.
I’m angry that I missed most of the Will Ferrell segment. I was busy preparing something for later in the show that we never got to.
Sunday night, the night of the Academy Awards, Will was hosting “Funny Or Die Comedy Tour” at Radio City Music Hall. The night features, among others, Will Arnett, Demetri Martin, Nick Swardson, and Zach Galifianakis. (Have you seen Demetri Martin? He’s very funny.) Will doesn’t do much standup but for the show he did about 10 minutes of bits. Will says it went very well, much better than his only other appearance at Radio City. He appeared at the ESPN’s ESPY Awards some years back and came on as famed Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray. Will made some comments that the athletes did not find funny at all. He offended slouches like Ken Griffey, John Elway, and Tiger Woods. It wasn’t good.
Will considers himself a lazy dad at times and feels guilty about it. The other night his 4-year-old son was jumping on the bed. In his bedroom there are these lamps that sort of jut out of the wall. Will told his son that he shouldn’t jump on the bed because he might fall backwards and hit the lamps and he could hurt himself. His son asked, “Will fire shoot out of the walls?” Realizing it would make him stop jumping on the bed, Will answered, “Yes. Fire will shoot out of the walls.”
Will’s new film, Semi-Pro is about the old ABA basketball league. The four most successful ABA teams were about to merge with the established NBA. (That was true) In the film, Semi-Pro, Will hopes that his team is one of those teams. (That part isn’t true.)
Dave says he laughed out loud many times during the film and he too was a big fan of the ABA and his Indiana Pacers. Dave asks Will to name some of the best ABA players from the 60s and 70s. And back in the shack, I have a list of the top 20 scorers of the ABA Indiana Pacers. I made the list during the writers strike. I made a lot of lists during the writers strike to have at the ready at a moment’s notice for the show. So far, none of the lists have been needed. Semi-Pro – it opens Friday . . . this Friday . . . February 29th.
Dave says goodbye to Will who is a bit surprised that it is over so soon. He wants to share something before going.
Will stands and sings “Auf Wiedersehen” --- “So long, farewell, auf Widersehen goodnight, I hate to go and leave this pretty sight . . . .”
He then scurries to center stage and is joined by 4 adorable children, “Sound of Music” style. They sing: “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen goodbye . . . . goodbye . . . . goodbye . . . . goodbye.” Will delivers the final “goodbye” and lies down on the floor in a beddy-bye nap position.
ACT 5: Announce: “Tuesday on the ‘Late Show,’ Dave is joined by Courteney Cox, New York Times columnist Thomas L. Friedman, and music from Chingy, with Ludacris. Remember, we can’t watch you; you have to watch us.
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6:
It’s time for “Alan Kalter’s Academy Awards Roundup.” ALAN: “Thanks, Underpants. Last night, people all over the world tuned in to the 80th annual Academy Awards, as Hollywood honored its best films, directors, actors, and actresses.”
Alan turns to another camera. Lights dim. Sexy sax music is heard. ALAN: “Oh, yes, the actresses. The Academy Awards may be over but you ladies won’t need to do any acting to convey the ecstasy you feel as you work your way down my red carpet. And you’re sure to put in an outstanding performance as you gratefully accept my golden statuette. If you’re a supporting actress, we’ll see how well you support yourself in my ceiling-mounted love swing.
Suddenly, a big burly dude enters from the audience and yells, “That’s enough!” He approaches Alan’s perch and then proceeds to beat Alan to a pulp. He then returns to proceed with a bit more beating. He exits, satisfied with the deserved beating he delivered.
Dave: “He’s gonna be asleep for a while because that last punch came this close to hitting him.”
ACT 7:
Before the intro, we learn that Michael McDonald, formerly of the Doobie Brothers, wrote the theme to “The David Letterman Show,” seen in the A.M. hours 28 years ago. “The David Letterman Show” was the only reason I would get out of bed in the summer of 1980; post-college/pre-work.
MICHAEL MCDONALD: From his soon to be released CD, “Soul Speak,” Michael McDonald performed “Your Love Keeps Lifting Me, Higher and Higher.”
And that was our show for Monday February 25, 2008.
My parents are mad at me and my sister and brothers. My parents say their grandkids should have been born on the 2nd, 10th, 12th, 13th, 19th, and the 22nd.
“And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role goes to . . . . . . Marion Cotillard.” Ta da! C’est bon.
From the November 28, 2007 Wahoo Gazette ---- yes, there were Wahoo’s during the writers strike. You can’t say the same about The Tony Mendez Show.
“Put away your Best Actress ballots for this year’s (next year’s?) Academy Awards. It’s Marion Cotillard as Edith Piaf. I rented the movie last weekend. Unfortunately, nobody else in America has seen ‘La Vie en Rose.’ I’m so excited. It’s been years since I’ve seen a movie that wasn’t an animated feature that might win an Academy Award.”
And from the May 9, 2007 Wahoo Gazette:
“I was at a gas station in Jersey the other day. I always get my gas in New Jersey. It’s cheaper and they pump it for you. The guy takes my credit card and fills my tank. He hands my card back to me and then says something I don’t understand. I ask him, ‘Huh?’ He repeats his comment in his native tongue. I can’t understand a lick of what he’s trying to say. He repeats it and points inside my car. What’s wrong? Is my inspection overdue? Registration? Is something burning? I still don’t get what he’s saying. He leans in a bit further and points to my radio. I’m listening to the legendary French singer, Edith Piaf. I say, ‘Ohhh, that’s Edith Piaf.’ He smiles and says, ‘Nice. Tres bon. Beautiful.’ I take the tape out of the cassette player and offer it to him. The elderly immigrant won’t take it, probably because it’s a cassette tape. Who listens to cassettes anymore? Anyway, we both agreed that Ms. Piaf is indeed a wonderful singer. Before leaving, I try some of my high school French on the gas attendant. He tells me in French that the library is straight ahead.”
Jon Stewart used that joke last night after Javier Bardem’s acceptance speech in Spanish.
Did you watch the Academy Awards Sunday night? I watched most of it and thought Jon Stewart did just fine in a job impossible to please everyone. As always, if Billy Crystal was the host and he sang the jokes Jon Stewart told, with a bit of dancing, everyone would be raving at Mr. Crystal’s genius.
My favorite moment: When Jon Stewart called back Marketa Irglova, winner of Best Song along with Glen Hansard, to finish her acceptance speech she was not allowed to begin. I always feel bad for the 2nd person to speak when there are two winners at the microphone. The follow-up never gets enough time. In this case, Ms. Irglova received no time. The music was cued and then we went to commercial. When we came back, Jon Stewart invited Marketa back out for her moment in the sun. And she delivered a very nice acceptance speech. Good for her.
Maybe it was my imagination, but I noticed many times when a man and woman were co-winners, the man took the lead and the woman followed behind. I did not see the gentlemanly gesture of “ladies first.” I would have let the woman lead down the aisle, let her up the steps first, and if it was an equal collaboration, let her speak first.
This has nothing to do with the Academy Awards, but I heard when walking down stairs, the gentleman should lead. This way, if the woman trips forward, the man in front would break her fall. Miss Manners, are you reading this? Does the gentleman lead down the steps? And walking along a city sidewalk, a woman should be street side and the man store side.
But on the subway, I believe “Equal seat for equal pay.” I tend to keep seated unless the woman is elderly or pregnant or really really pretty.
And when did John Travolta start looking like Michael Eisner? Coincidentally, his hair looked like Mickey Mouse.
Best Actress:Marion Cotillard – from France Best Actor:Daniel Day-Lewis – from Ireland Best Supporting Actor:Javier Bardem – from Spain Best Supporting Actress:Tilda Swinton – from England
Okay, they got theirs. Expect a USA sweep next year. I’d bet on it.
If Hillary Clinton had run for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois instead of elbowing her way into New York, she wouldn’t have Barack Obama bothering her today.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Long Island, New York, it’s Coggy13
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Will Ferrell; and Michael McDonald. PLUS:A Surprise Academy Award Recipient; Phone Call from Raul Castro; Gary Busey at the Academy Awards Pre-Show; The U.S. Spy Satellite; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; Small Town News; Alan Kalter’s Academy Awards Roundup; and Fun with Sound Effects.
“ . . . and now, tick-infested rodent . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Monologue joke: “A former stripper won an Academy Award. That was the first time that has happened since Katherine Hepburn in 1981.”
Paul then does a Katherine Hepburn impersonation, something he likely picked up hanging out with his Canadian pal, Martin Short. Paul says in a Katherine Hepburn voice, “I’m going to take my bra off now.”
During the pre-show Q&A, someone from the audience asked, ““What’s the deal with World Wide Pants?” Dave’s response: “I have no idea.”
Dave throws a pencil through the window and we hear a line or two of “The Crusher” by The Novas.
Did you watch the Academy Awards Sunday night? All the major acting awards went to foreigners. Dave has no problem with that, but was puzzled by this winner.
We see a clip of Osama bin Laden. He is holding the Oscar statuette and we hear his acceptance speech.
“I’m sorry I can’t be there to accept this award in person, but I’m on location in Kabul filming a romantic comedy with Muqtada al-Sadr and Debra Messing. Anyway, I’d like to thank three of my five wives, my friend and partner Ayman al-Zawahiri for always believing in me; my fabulous director Norman Jewison . . . . oh, crap, don’t play me off yet. Thanks to everyone at 3 Arts, my yak driver .. . And Hal Holbrook, you deserve this Award more than I do, Hal. God bless you all, and death to America.”
(the above my have been shortened just before the show)
You remember Osama bin Laden, don’t you? If it weren’t for the LATE SHOW, you would never hear his name.
And how odd will it be when Osama is still in power when George W. Bush has to step down?
Dave throws a pencil or blue card through the window and we hear more of “The Crusher.” But we weren’t supposed to hear “The Crusher.”
Phone call for Mr. Letterman . . . phone call for Mr. David Letterman. On the phone is Cuba’s new Head of State, Raul Castro. DAVE: “Hello, Raul, it’s David Letterman. Thanks for being on the show.” RAUL: “Hi, everybody, it’s me, Raul, your friendly neighbor to the south. Don’t miss Will Ferrell in ‘Semi-Pro’ --- it’s a comedy three-pointer.”
Dave tries to continue the conversation but Raul hangs up. He’s very busy these days with little time to chit-chat. A month ago he was available for the entire show.
Did you watch any of the pre-show to the Academy Awards? All Dave will say is “Gary Busey was there.”
We see Mr. Busey on the red carpet looking a bit disoriented and then kiss Jennifer Garner. The clip then cuts to:
“Hung over this morning? Excedrin can help.
Excedrin: What’s the alternative? Not drink?”
It wasn’t so surprising to find Gary Busey a bit inebriated on the red carpet . . . . what was so surprising was to see Gary Busey on the red carpet.
Dave throws the card through the window: “Moooooooooo”
The Pentagon is saying the missile fired at a dead United States spy satellite last week was a success. We have footage of the successful hit.
We see a guy walking down a city block. He hears an explosion in the sky and then is hit by satellite debris. The guy falls to the ground and screams out in pain. Of course, it wouldn’t be that funny except the debris hit the guy in the nuts! Getting hit in the nuts . . . . or, somebody else getting hit in the nuts is funny! We learned that from America’s Favorite Videos.
Before Dave throws the blue card through the window, he says he wants to hear “Ol’ Turkey Buzzard.” Dave allows a moment for the Control Room to prepare “Ol’ Turkey Buzzard” and then throws the blue card. We hear “Ol’ Turkey Buzzard” along with a visual of a turkey buzzard. Kudos to the Control Room.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
Bush: “Thanks for your remarks. Those were awesome. I guess that’s a Presidential word.”
ACT 2:
Back from commercial, Dave holds a fistful of pencils. He says he will be throwing pencil through the window all night long and “Gary better be ready.”
Sound effects heard:
- Glass break followed by an “ah-ooo-gah” horn
- Glass break followed by “oh, the humanity”
- Glass break followed by a lion roar
- Glass break followed by a twinkle
- Glass break followed by a psycho sting
- Glass break followed by sea gulls
- Sea gulls, followed by sea gulls. Hey, what happened to the glass break?
- Glass break followed by two more glass breaks, followed by the crack of a baseball bat hitting a baseball.
SMALL TOWN NEWS The Record (Bergen County, New Jersey): An ad for Paramus Chevrolet lists this employee: “Brent Cofrancesco – Queen of France.”
A coupon insert from Cash Wise Supermarket (Bismark, North Dakota): Underwater Adventures Aquarium offers “Free Child with the box office purchase of a full-priced adult admission.”
The Original Irregular (Kingfield, Maine): “What was the craziest adventure that you ever had on your sled?” Mike Horning: Up in Canada, we got some strippers to come out and do their thing on our sleds. Have pictures to prove it.”
The Original Irregular? Dave doubts that is the actual name of a newspaper. After some thought, he think the name may trace all the way back to the Civil War.
The Mason County Democrat (Havana, Illinois): An ad for ‘The Riverview Restaurant & Family Bowling Center’ – “We have an elevator!”
The Mt. Vernon News (Mt. Vernon, Ohio): “Wanted to buy/trade. Need an unused upper plate (false teeth). I lost mine.”
The Post-Crescent (Appleton, Wisconsin): “A television news truck broke through the ice on Big Muskego Lake. The driver of the WDJT-TV News truck was working on a segment about snowmobile safety on ice.”
The Pulaski County Journal (Winimac, Indiana): “Dilts Brothes Investment & Insurance Services.” There’s nothing funny about his ad; we just thought that Derrick Dilts looks like our writer Bob Borden. Dave calls for Bob to come out. Bob enters, takes off his glasses, and smiles widely like Derrick Dilts. They could be brothers, or the same guy.
The Williston Pioneer Sun News (Williston, Florida): “Just in time for Christmas, surprise your loved ones with tickets to an exciting event going on in Levy County on Saturday February 23rd.
The Amarillo Globe-News (Amarillo, Texas): A wedding announcement: “Moose-Greaser.”
The San Ramon Valley Times (Danville, California): “a rare western gray squirrel bolts from its cage, after which it immediately turned around and ate the state worker who released it.”
The Daily Banner (Cambridge, Maryland): “Suicide Bridge Restaurant is the place for parties of any occasion.”
The Flagpole (Athens, Georgia): “Boars Head Lounge. Free New Year’s Eve stuff and leftover Halloween crap and/or ‘djoy.’”
I took a closer look at the ad for Boars Head Lounge in Athens, Georgia. In small print: “Home of the $2 High Life.” Sounds like a place I could learn to like.
ACT 3:
“Where did the name ‘The Irregular’ come from? Back in 1968 or thereabouts, when the mountains were still tall but the paper small, The Irregular came out irregularly or when the publisher and editor collected enough ads (or meals in trade) to cover production costs. The paper finally became weekly year-round in 1986.”
TOP TEN: Things Overheard at the Academy Awards
8. “The Award for Sound Mixing . . . finally!”
4. “Eddie Brill says three were too many foreigners in the audience.”
2. “No, Ms. Fonda, it’s ‘No COUNTRY For Old Men.”
WILL FERRELL: From the new film, Semi-Pro. It opens on Friday.
I’m angry that I missed most of the Will Ferrell segment. I was busy preparing something for later in the show that we never got to.
Sunday night, the night of the Academy Awards, Will was hosting “Funny Or Die Comedy Tour” at Radio City Music Hall. The night features, among others, Will Arnett, Demetri Martin, Nick Swardson, and Zach Galifianakis. (Have you seen Demetri Martin? He’s very funny.) Will doesn’t do much standup but for the show he did about 10 minutes of bits. Will says it went very well, much better than his only other appearance at Radio City. He appeared at the ESPN’s ESPY Awards some years back and came on as famed Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray. Will made some comments that the athletes did not find funny at all. He offended slouches like Ken Griffey, John Elway, and Tiger Woods. It wasn’t good.
Will considers himself a lazy dad at times and feels guilty about it. The other night his 4-year-old son was jumping on the bed. In his bedroom there are these lamps that sort of jut out of the wall. Will told his son that he shouldn’t jump on the bed because he might fall backwards and hit the lamps and he could hurt himself. His son asked, “Will fire shoot out of the walls?” Realizing it would make him stop jumping on the bed, Will answered, “Yes. Fire will shoot out of the walls.”
Will’s new film, Semi-Pro is about the old ABA basketball league. The four most successful ABA teams were about to merge with the established NBA. (That was true) In the film, Semi-Pro, Will hopes that his team is one of those teams. (That part isn’t true.)
Dave says he laughed out loud many times during the film and he too was a big fan of the ABA and his Indiana Pacers. Dave asks Will to name some of the best ABA players from the 60s and 70s. And back in the shack, I have a list of the top 20 scorers of the ABA Indiana Pacers. I made the list during the writers strike. I made a lot of lists during the writers strike to have at the ready at a moment’s notice for the show. So far, none of the lists have been needed. Semi-Pro – it opens Friday . . . this Friday . . . February 29th.
Dave says goodbye to Will who is a bit surprised that it is over so soon. He wants to share something before going.
Will stands and sings “Auf Wiedersehen” --- “So long, farewell, auf Widersehen goodnight, I hate to go and leave this pretty sight . . . .”
He then scurries to center stage and is joined by 4 adorable children, “Sound of Music” style. They sing: “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen goodbye . . . . goodbye . . . . goodbye . . . . goodbye.” Will delivers the final “goodbye” and lies down on the floor in a beddy-bye nap position.
ACT 5: Announce: “Tuesday on the ‘Late Show,’ Dave is joined by Courteney Cox, New York Times columnist Thomas L. Friedman, and music from Chingy, with Ludacris. Remember, we can’t watch you; you have to watch us.
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6:
It’s time for “Alan Kalter’s Academy Awards Roundup.” ALAN: “Thanks, Underpants. Last night, people all over the world tuned in to the 80th annual Academy Awards, as Hollywood honored its best films, directors, actors, and actresses.”
Alan turns to another camera. Lights dim. Sexy sax music is heard. ALAN: “Oh, yes, the actresses. The Academy Awards may be over but you ladies won’t need to do any acting to convey the ecstasy you feel as you work your way down my red carpet. And you’re sure to put in an outstanding performance as you gratefully accept my golden statuette. If you’re a supporting actress, we’ll see how well you support yourself in my ceiling-mounted love swing.
Suddenly, a big burly dude enters from the audience and yells, “That’s enough!” He approaches Alan’s perch and then proceeds to beat Alan to a pulp. He then returns to proceed with a bit more beating. He exits, satisfied with the deserved beating he delivered.
Dave: “He’s gonna be asleep for a while because that last punch came this close to hitting him.”
ACT 7:
Before the intro, we learn that Michael McDonald, formerly of the Doobie Brothers, wrote the theme to “The David Letterman Show,” seen in the A.M. hours 28 years ago. “The David Letterman Show” was the only reason I would get out of bed in the summer of 1980; post-college/pre-work.
MICHAEL MCDONALD: From his soon to be released CD, “Soul Speak,” Michael McDonald performed “Your Love Keeps Lifting Me, Higher and Higher.”
And that was our show for Monday February 25, 2008.
My parents are mad at me and my sister and brothers. My parents say their grandkids should have been born on the 2nd, 10th, 12th, 13th, 19th, and the 22nd.
“And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role goes to . . . . . . Marion Cotillard.” Ta da! C’est bon.
From the November 28, 2007 Wahoo Gazette ---- yes, there were Wahoo’s during the writers strike. You can’t say the same about The Tony Mendez Show.
“Put away your Best Actress ballots for this year’s (next year’s?) Academy Awards. It’s Marion Cotillard as Edith Piaf. I rented the movie last weekend. Unfortunately, nobody else in America has seen ‘La Vie en Rose.’ I’m so excited. It’s been years since I’ve seen a movie that wasn’t an animated feature that might win an Academy Award.”
And from the May 9, 2007 Wahoo Gazette:
“I was at a gas station in Jersey the other day. I always get my gas in New Jersey. It’s cheaper and they pump it for you. The guy takes my credit card and fills my tank. He hands my card back to me and then says something I don’t understand. I ask him, ‘Huh?’ He repeats his comment in his native tongue. I can’t understand a lick of what he’s trying to say. He repeats it and points inside my car. What’s wrong? Is my inspection overdue? Registration? Is something burning? I still don’t get what he’s saying. He leans in a bit further and points to my radio. I’m listening to the legendary French singer, Edith Piaf. I say, ‘Ohhh, that’s Edith Piaf.’ He smiles and says, ‘Nice. Tres bon. Beautiful.’ I take the tape out of the cassette player and offer it to him. The elderly immigrant won’t take it, probably because it’s a cassette tape. Who listens to cassettes anymore? Anyway, we both agreed that Ms. Piaf is indeed a wonderful singer. Before leaving, I try some of my high school French on the gas attendant. He tells me in French that the library is straight ahead.”
Jon Stewart used that joke last night after Javier Bardem’s acceptance speech in Spanish.
Did you watch the Academy Awards Sunday night? I watched most of it and thought Jon Stewart did just fine in a job impossible to please everyone. As always, if Billy Crystal was the host and he sang the jokes Jon Stewart told, with a bit of dancing, everyone would be raving at Mr. Crystal’s genius.
My favorite moment: When Jon Stewart called back Marketa Irglova, winner of Best Song along with Glen Hansard, to finish her acceptance speech she was not allowed to begin. I always feel bad for the 2nd person to speak when there are two winners at the microphone. The follow-up never gets enough time. In this case, Ms. Irglova received no time. The music was cued and then we went to commercial. When we came back, Jon Stewart invited Marketa back out for her moment in the sun. And she delivered a very nice acceptance speech. Good for her.
Maybe it was my imagination, but I noticed many times when a man and woman were co-winners, the man took the lead and the woman followed behind. I did not see the gentlemanly gesture of “ladies first.” I would have let the woman lead down the aisle, let her up the steps first, and if it was an equal collaboration, let her speak first.
This has nothing to do with the Academy Awards, but I heard when walking down stairs, the gentleman should lead. This way, if the woman trips forward, the man in front would break her fall. Miss Manners, are you reading this? Does the gentleman lead down the steps? And walking along a city sidewalk, a woman should be street side and the man store side.
But on the subway, I believe “Equal seat for equal pay.” I tend to keep seated unless the woman is elderly or pregnant or really really pretty.
And when did John Travolta start looking like Michael Eisner? Coincidentally, his hair looked like Mickey Mouse.
Best Actress:Marion Cotillard – from France Best Actor:Daniel Day-Lewis – from Ireland Best Supporting Actor:Javier Bardem – from Spain Best Supporting Actress:Tilda Swinton – from England
Okay, they got theirs. Expect a USA sweep next year. I’d bet on it.
If Hillary Clinton had run for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois instead of elbowing her way into New York, she wouldn’t have Barack Obama bothering her today.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Long Island, New York, it’s Coggy13
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Ralph Nader Campaign Announcement • Phone Call from Raul Castro • Gary Busey at the Academy Awards • U.S. Missle Shoots Down Satellite • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Small Town News
ACT 3 • Top Ten Things Overheard at the Academy Awards Read now
